Graduation

As much as I hate to, I have to talk about it. Where should I start?

I never cared about graduation; never have and never will, but it does affect me... and it doesn't help that graduation was right by my 19th birthday.

Now I feel like an adult. I wish I could have turned into peter pan and stayed a kid forever. I knew it was coming, but i tried to pretend that it wasn't. I didn't want to be a big kid... at least not now. I planned on having my dreams closer to fulfillment than this. I wanted to have one CD out and have my first novel completely finished. I gave up on becoming a musician, but my novel... is not where I wanted it to be; close, but not there yet.

So I guess that is a disappointment. Also, when i turned 18, i thought everything was over. any goal of having the life I wanted was dead because I was 18 and in those 18 years i have accomplished nothing with significance. I was just too much of myself to be who i wanted to be. Now, I’m 19 and although I own more hope, thanks to a 12th grade English teacher, I feel even more down. one more year and I'll be twenty and once I'm twenty, I feel like my only dating life will be like one of those sickening reality shows... and that is if I even decide to have one.

Don’t get me wrong, I have been doing a lot… but not a big enough percentage of what I have been doing has been to help myself reach my goals.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though I tried to not waste my time with "normal" teenage "necessities", I still feel like I’ve wasted too much time on living. Time is short; we cannot afford to ignore that fact.

Fair thee well, nymph. (Quote from “a mid-summer night’s dream”….because I’m ridiculous)