Sometimes I need to break down and analyze my own poems to understand exactly what it is that I'm trying to say; I know the big picture, but it's nice to study every word and discover a greater meaning. So, this is a little exercise I did. I wrote a poem and then beneath it I broke it down into smaller and smaller sections. I can even go into deeper study of the poem, but I'm saticfied with where I am. Trust me, doing this doesn't make you conceeded, it helps create a better poem. You can look at every detail and fix anything that you feel does not fit. Remember, in poetry, every word choice should be significant. Ask yourself why and if you cannot come up with an answer, change it.
Now, here's my work:
My Fear
I own, in my soul, a fear.
It shakes me to the bone.
I own, in my bones, a fear
That none will ever know.
Time ticks, clock tocks,
But I cannot refuse it.
Time is set, it is locked,
I cannot try to confuse it.
Father Time, a stubborn man,
Is also a very honest one.
Me, he rejects with a strong hand
And rebukes another one.
I own, in my soul, a fear.
It shakes me to the bone.
I own, in my bones, a fear
That none will ever know.
I do not fear time itself,
but the uncaring side effects.
Mud to dirt, falling into one’s self;
Death, which no man detects.
That, the fear is neither,
This is a chain of events
That is not a breather.
Time is full of torments.
Till death do us part,
Then what do I become?
Just a lonely, old fart
Who is left without love.
This is the fear that haunts.
Loneliness is a horror.
Live alone, I will not
Her ghost I will hoarder.
I will speak to her as always,
And like a crazed man I’ll be.
Grasping onto her until the day
That fear lets go of me.
-Luke-Dakota Massey
Poem Breakdown
Verse 1 and 4
“I own, in my soul, a fear.
It shakes me to the bone.
I own, in my bones, a fear
That none will ever know.”
Line 1 introduces the whole purpose of the poem. It tells us right away that he has a fear. Line 1 also works with lines 2 and 3 to show how this fear affects one thing after another and goes into a never-ending circle. It is consuming his life both spiritually and physically.
The verse ends with “That none will ever know” this doesn’t mean that he won’t tell anybody. Instead, it is suggesting that no one close to him knows this kind of pain and fear. He feels alone and there is nobody who can comfort him.
Verse 2
“Time ticks, clock tocks,
But I cannot refuse it.
Time is set, it is locked,
I cannot try to confuse it.”
This verse starts out by stating a fact: time will always cease. There is nothing that the man in the poem can do to stop it. Time will press forward. “I cannot try to confuse it.” which means that he can’t stop it or turn it to reverse. This man has absolutely no control.
Verse 3
“Father Time, a stubborn man,
Is also a very honest one.
Me he rejects with a strong hand
And rebukes another one.”
“Father Time, a stubborn man,” –this is used just to tie in the ideas between verse two and three. We have already learned that time is stubborn, but this line keeps the conversation on the subject.
“Is also a very honest one,” –this line switches the readers mind from thinking of time as the enemy to not saying that he’s the man’s best friend, but just another law doing it’s job. Then, line three switches it back around. “Me he rejects with a strong hand.” How does he reject the man? Well the man is frustrated. He is pleading with time, but time won’t stop. Time keeps on with his “strong hand” referring to the hands on the clock.
“And rebukes another one.” This line will confuse the reader at this point. It does mean that the man is not the only one losing a battle with time, but it doesn’t become significant until later on in the poem. The reader does not register that the man is talking about his wife’s death.
Verse 4
“I own, in my soul, a fear.
It shakes me to the bone.
I own, in my bones, a fear
That none will ever know.”
The purpose of this verse is to take a step away from the man’s fight with time. Yes, the man is angry with time, but it is not the cause of his fear, and that is what the poem is about. So, the man goes back to the beginning and retells the reader about the true reason for the poem.
Verse 5
“I do not fear time itself,
but the uncaring side effects.
Mud to dirt, falling into one’s self;
Death, which no man detects.”
“I do not fear time itself,” this does two things, it explains that the man does not fear time, just as the reader thought from verse 4, and it also tells the reader that the man is about to show why he is angry with time. “but the uncaring side effects.” That is why. The man in the poem has a fear pertaining to the effects of continuous time. “Mud to dirt, falling into one’s self.” This line is separated in the middle by a comma which tells the reader that these two things can stand alone. Knowing that is helpful in understanding the poem. Without the comma, the already puzzling line becomes more difficult. So, look at the line as two separate parts, “Mud to dirt” mud has more consistency than dirt. Mud sticks together as dirt separates from itself easily. The man is telling us that something is falling apart, or fell apart. Now, why would he use this imagery to explain this? This is where the reader’s knowledge comes into mind. The story of Adam and Eve helps explain this. God made Adam out of mud. Therefore, mud to dirt is symbolic of a human’s death. The second part of this line clarifies this a little more. “Falling into one’s self;” that shows imagery of someone caving in, it represents death more clearly, but cannot stand alone, for if it did, it could be a symbol of narcissism, but taking the rest of the poem into account, narcissism does not fit.
To clarify even more, the next word stands alone, “Death,” that takes all confusing out of the reader. Now, the reader can fit the pieces of the poem together more effectively. The rest of the line, “which no man detects.” Tells the reader that the man in the poem did not expect the death, but we know that old age is the reason for the death, so he must have seen it coming. Basically, it just seems so surreal to him and he hasn’t quite accepted the fact that she’s dead.
Verse 6
“That, the fear is neither,
This is a chain of events
That is not a breather.
Time is full of torments.”
“That, the fear is neither,” –even her death is not what he fears. “This is a chain of events” –there’s even greater of an outcome that is what he fears. “That is not a breather.” –it keeps the reader from coming to a conclusion, it tells of something worse than anything else in the poem. It shows the man’s thoughts and feelings about what he fears. “Time is full of torments.” –this says that effects of time are inevitable and cruel. Also, the man continues to blame time.
Verse 7
“Till death do us part,
Then what do I become?
Just a lonely, old fart
Who is left without love.”
“Till death do us part,” –this tells the reader simply that his wife died. It alludes to wedding vows, and it speaks of separation due to death. “Then what do I become?” –the man is saying that yes, the world has taught him how to love and live with his wife, but nobody ever told him how to handle himself after she dies. The man does not know how to react to this situation, he feels lost and is full of questions. He then answers his own question by saying, “Just a lonely, old fart” this shows the state-of-mind of the man. He is so distraught by this even that his emotions are all over the place, he adds humor in where it shouldn’t be, and he makes fun of himself instead of acting maturely. “Who is left without love.” He is sad and alone, it recovers the tone of the poem from its detour to humor in the line above.
Verse 8
“This is the fear that haunts.
Loneliness is a horror.
Live alone, I will not
Her ghost I will hoarder.”
“This is the fear that haunts.” He finally decides to tell us what he is scared of. It’s not time, and it’s not death, “Loneliness is a horror.” He fears being alone. “Live alone, I will not” this can mean that the man is contemplating suicide, but more importantly, the man is refusing to give in to his fear. You can see this more clearly in the next line, “Her ghost I will hoarder.” He refuses to let her go. He is going to hold on to her soul, her spirit, her ghost.
Verse 9
“I will speak to her as always,
And like a crazed man I’ll be.
Grasping onto her until the day
That fear lets go of me.”
“I will speak to her as always,” he refuses to accept his wife’s death. “And like a crazed man I’ll be.” This simply implies that the man knows that he is going insane, but he doesn’t care, he doesn’t want to face the truth. He’s going to be “Grasping on to her,” holding on the any remnant of his love. “until the day” this gives hope and a future resolution. “That fear lets go of me.” This mainly just brings the poem to a conclusion. It keeps a promise that the man will eventually rid himself of this fear either by death or other means. The answer remains unclear on purpose to let the reader decide what will happen, depending on what ending the reader craves.
