I know I've posted today but...

Here's another.

I am absolutly inspired by Angus and Julia Stone. I've heard their music for the first time today and at first I found it odd, but I'm in this wierd 60's music faze and these peeps sure sound 60s. It is absolutly numbing to listen them. I can feel emotions in their silences between notes. This feeling is something which my common speech has no vocabulary for.

I've been listening to "I'm not yours" all day. I can really relate to the song. and it inspired me to write a song myself. I used to write songs a lot and I'm just now getting back into it. I have all the lyrics written and I have the intro and first verse piano and voice done. I'm so excited. =] I'll share the lyrics on here when I'm done writing the song.

As for poison, I'm procrastinating. All of the proofreading marks are sitting there waiting to be used. Perhaps I will start tomorrow morning. Evenings are about to become way too busy to do anything.

I currently have two jobs as well as school. Production week is next week. I don't get paid for this show, but it is very demanding. I will be at practice all day everyday until the show is over. Once again, wish me luck.

Thank you all who read.
Love you. Good night.

Weekends are great

So this weekend, I finished proofreading Poison. It's getting there. I plan on making corrections this week and hopfully finish by the end of May. After that, I will print out another copy and ask a few people to read it and I'll give them questions at the end to see what I have to fix. I'll fix them and then I should be done. I don't know if I should start trying to get it published right away or wait until I get my bachelors in English first so that I can use my full potential. I'm leaning toward the latter.

Well, I got my very-first-friend's e-mail. I e-mailed him, but there's no telling what will happen. I haven't talked to him since before kindergarden, but who knows. I can tell you though, I feel terrified. I'm basically talking to a stranger, and I'm a very shy person as it is. Part of me even wishes that he doesn't respond just so I don't have to write back. I don't know. We'll see what happens.

Wish me Luck.

Bye.

The Other

The Other

Can I call you another,

With arms stretched out?

Forget that evil is in your spit,

And demons crawl about?

Can I call you the other,

Who has stayed frozen

In sacred, blissful lands

Too good to lay open?

You, dear, are lost in you.

In thresholds covered up;

Brick after harder stone.

I can’t seem to reveal us.

This tragedy is eternal.

I can by no means read on.

So I leave you behind,

And my love flies upon.          

Goodbye sweet history.

I find you not a lover.

Today I look to swords;

Find you in another.

-Luke-Dakota Massey

Learn from my Mistakes

Fellow writers, this post is written for you as a warning.

There are many ways to start a book, you can sit down and decide to tell a story, you can be inspired by something like a dream, another book (fan fiction), an event in your life or someone else's life and decide to write from that, you can also just free write and see what happens.

To be honest, I had no intent on writing Poison, and i certainly didn't think that I would get this serious about it... Here's the story of how Poison started...

I had lunch detention for ditching class. The detention teacher told me that I could either work on homework from another class or do the assignment on the board, I chose neither. Instead, I just sat down and started free writing a monologue.

I did one scene in Poison and thought that it was amazing. I named it, The Cult, and the next day (after proof reading) I showed my friends and they loved it. From that point, I rewrote the monologue, and added and eventually came up with a direction to take my story, but because I wasn't 100% sure of what I wanted, I ran into a few problems that I am paying for now.

1. I've switched between first and third person, so now it makes proofreading difficult and it causes me to take out some parts and then re-add them without the original effect

2. Now that the complete story is done and I know exactly where everthing is going, I have to eliminate the roads that started to lead somewhere, but never got there.

3. Symbolism and certain ideas are only shown is small parts. The ideas should be present through the whole book.

So now I have to pay attention to these things in addition to the norm. My advice to anyone who finds himself writing a book is, before you get too far, get your ideas straightened out and then start rewriting from the very beginning. I wish I would have. Luckily, I'm almost halfway done with the proofreading. Wish me luck.

The Last Saint

The Last Saint

Where have all the saints gone?

All I find here is smoke and white rocks.

It's lonely being the only one who's able to breathe.

All the others are drowning in the sea;

I am left to live healthy and all alone,

Stranded on my personal island.

The smoke lifts from the unknown,

And stones wash onto my home.

I own doubt in all my morals.

The demons are taking me over.

Love is in the water, far beneath the deep.

Inhale and hold, I can no longer breathe.

-Luke-Dakota Massey

Frozen and Obesessed

I'm still working on Poison, it's still quite a ways away from being perfect, but it's a hell lot closer than it was. I just tell myself to keep on swimming, but criticism from myself is killing me. I just try to ignore the thoughts in my head telling me that I should give up; play it safe and stop now before it's too late, but in reality, I can't. Giving up and throwing it all away will be far more painful than never getting it to the point of perfection. Writing is a painful art.

Anyway, what is going on in my life is sending butterflies into my stomach.
1. Finishing High School (spring’s end)
2. becoming a lot more serious about Poison (obsessing over my crazy ideas)
3. My Boyfriend and how long will I keep the distance between us (John and whether or not we can make it)
4. My ex and the temptation to go to him (the poison that keeps tempting me)
5. College (the new world) and
6. A long, lost, first friend (Liideui)

The words in parentheses are references to Poison... I have entered the world of obsession.

So, as you can see, I could blog and blog and blog about all of these things going on in my life, but it would be pointless, it wouldn't ease my worry, it will just make them bigger. All of these subjects lead to questions anyway. I can write about them when answers arrive, and I will.

But for now I'm stuck in my own little world and I'm going insane. Too many things are on my mind. I just want them all gone. Poison is a big distraction for me, but it makes me crazy in a different way. I am obsessing more than I have in a long time. I'm afraid to let it go.

I'm going mad.

Day 2: Circles

Revisions after revisions. I knew that I would have to revise, but it seems as if I never revise enough.

So I have rewritten most of my book several times, but after each time I would write some more and then revise when I read it over again. I'm pretty sure that I have rewritten the first chapter (Not the prologue which came into existence much later than the first chapter) about 50 times and honestly, I think that I went a bit over board and I am thinking that I should undo some revisions.

Anyway, I revised Book 3, chapter 1 yesterday and I read it today in school... I have about as many marking on my paper as I did the first time. I think that the marks are quite valid this time, but I wonder if I'll ever be completely satisfied with my work.

I guess for now I am going to work on the first three chapters in Book 3 until I find them equal to book one, chapter one aka my favorite chapter =]

Wish me luck.

Reality: grasping a hold of my path

I am an 18-year-old senior in high school and now is the time when I need to focus of the path necessary to reach my goal. I have finally finished the "final" first draft of my novel, currently titled, Poison. I have been taking notes on what I still need to add to my story or what I need to rewrite, reword, rephrase until I am 100% satisfied with my novel.

Today, I went into my English class early because I was feeling a bit antisocial. I started to jot down some notes in my note book when my English teacher asked me what I was doing. Her thought was that I was writing poetry (I was in The Dead Poets Society with her the year before) I was embarrassed, but I explained what I was doing; it was the best mistake I have ever made.

Being a writer who is currently struggling with publishing, she gave me some advise and some warning, She gave me a web site to look into for when I am ready to find an agent and she warned me that the road she is on right now is a rocky road. I knew all of this before, but hearing it from her made my worry double, but I see it as surgery; I must undergo exposing myself and feeling pain so that I can grow and become better than I was. It is a price I must pay if I want to live with my full potential.

She has helped give me confidence, she believes in me. I am motivated to work harder on my book now and yes I know it will be a sickening journey to publication, but I am not alone.