losing myself

I have lost myself and I'm just broken in peices right now. I guess partof it is that I've just finished high school and I'm starting a whole new adventure and I'm not really sure how to go about doing this.

I don't know if I should just live here with my dad and save money, that was the original plan, or if I should go off and start a new life while I'm still young and what-not. I haven't been myself and its kind of like those awkward middle-school-years when you do all these different things, get into a bunch of different stuff to try to discover yourself. I'm doing the same thing.

I've stopped playing piano like I used to. I now play in a more simple manner and just have fun with it, and it gives me joy, but it's not the same joy and I don't feel as accomplished, but idk. And I've been writing still, and I feel like my story is becoming significantly better, so that's good, but right now, I can't seem to pull everything together... I write before I think, so this blog is going all over the place. I've also started doing something that I've never done. Shop. and I'm not talking about getting a shirt or two every month, which even that is more than what I used to do, but I'm talking about, if i have money, I spend it. It's bad, I know. I honestly have no idea what is wrong with me. I've just become restless, careless, pretty much insane.

Well, just thought I'd document this so I can look back and see how this has gotten me to point B, C, D and all the above. This is deffinately a turning point... I'm scared to find out where this road goes.

P.S. I'm too lazy to edit this. =P